Heavy sighs

I heard from Jess yesterday that G is going through a lot. Work, divorce, just seems life is crashing down on him. When I heard this my first reaction was to want to hold him and make everything go away, but I couldn't, he won't let that happen. So I unblocked him on my celly and texted him. I don't know if that was the smartest thing to do but its what I did. So I sent two texts both pretty much saying that if he needed someone to talk to that I was here, and that I was sending positive vibes his way. *frowns* I had hoped he would respond back with at least a thank you, but alas nothing. So maybe the universe was right, maybe our time and journey together really is over. Maybe I need to just stop caring about him at all and just move on. Its obvious that I don't mean anything to him, so why should I allow him to continue to take up space in my soul, mind or heart. Oh I know why because I care about him, because when someone touches in my life its not like I can totally just turn them off because of spat, they have moved on or what not. Its sad and painful but the reality of life. *so take a breathe and sigh*

Its a 3 day holiday weekend and I am alone yet again. Alas such is a journey of life. Trying to figure out things to do that aren't going to cost me an arm and a leg because of the strict strict budget I'm on till November. 

Australia is 20 days away I am so excited, nervous and apprehensive. *heavy sigh* I'm going to make my list today and figure out what I am taking with me. I know it seems silly to do so early but being a preparer I would totally freak out if I wanted till the day before. This way also I can see if I need anything. 

HEAVY SIGH...it will be okay...and I truly hope my friend (ex friend) is good.