Oh the perials of online dating.

Its been a few days since I wrote and so many things I should of, could of, or would have written about if I would have had the time. Scratch that if I would have made the time, alas I let my everyday life take over.

Its MARCH already and the year seems to be flying by. The 90 day weight loss challenge is wrapping up and so far I've lost 31 lbs. YEAH me!! Still have 50 to reach what my goal was for the year but I'm doing it. I joined a woman's boot camp with J and we're going twice a week at 5:30 am. UGH!!! I already feel it and can see that I have to step it up in order to lose the rest of my goal before Australia.

Speaking of Australia, I'm trying not to freak out but I am sorta, mostly over money. I don't know how I'm going to raise the funds for my portion of the trip. UGH!!! Sell myself or a liver or something? Trust in my higher power and it will happen. For now just enjoy the journey that I'm on to the trip, its been so much fun already. Getting the information from my parents, talking to my auntie about it and just getting excited. Its truly a once in a lifetime trip .

Life is good. Sorta seeing someone not sure where its going but he is really nice seems to be into me and we're taking it slow. 4 dates and still no kiss. This weekend is his birthday and I'm going to meet his twin boys for the first time. A little nervous but what little boy doesn't like me? I can't think of any, my nephew thinks I'm a rockstar after all. *giggles* Did I tell you how much I adore and love my nephew (well all my nieces also) but my nephew is one awesome little boy. during our recent "birthday date" to the USS Midway, I couldn't help but marvel on how amazing he truly is, such a funny, kind, polite little gentleman.

I've been thinking about things everyday. I come up with ideas on what to write but never seem to get them on paper. I'd really like to write a book one day. But are my ramblings enough? Would someone really read about my online dating trials? Let's see cause I have a dozy for you that just occurred.

I replied to a CL ad the other day. A guy was looking for a BBW to go with him to a party this weekend. I replied we emailed back and forth, then we started texting, etc. Well unfortunately I wasn't going to be able to attend the party because of prior plans with family the same night. But we made plans to meet for a late night drink after I was done. We texted for a few days, getting to know each other, we seemed on the same path, looking for a FWB with the possibility of more. So last night we are texting and something didn't sit right with me so I decided to see if I could find him on Facebook.

Now let me back up a bit here, those of you that cheat, lie or manipulate a situation understand this women have gut feelings and the smart ones will follow until they are settled down. That's me, so if you're going to lie, cheat or try to manipulate me make sure your game is TIGHT or I'm gonna find the crack in it. A Facebook is a HUGE crack of peoples. Cracks me up everytime I catch a liar.

So I searched Facebook and SURE enough he has a page. The worse thing of it all is the first picture he sent me of himself was the one he had on his profile, just cropped the GF/fiancee out. He's not married I will give him credit on that one, but here's the kicker, his GF just had HIS first born daughter less than a month ago. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? Seriously? You're out scoping CL's for women and your GF just had your child? EWWWW.

So I called him out on it. I haven't decided if I'm going to contact the GF, if it was me I would want to know, but I still haven't decided on that yet. He tried to tell me that he had no plans on meeting me, that he was just joshing on CL, fucking with the flakes, etc. That I turned out to be a genuine person and he's sorry he lead me on. I call BS, you know damn well if I hadn't of said anything to him about finding out about his life he would have met me and tried to sleep with me. It was sorta funny to watch the texts come in begging me to not say anything and how she would know that I was lying, that I would just be causing undue harm, etc etc. Trying to back pedal and manipulate the situation. *rolling eyes*

Why not be honest and upfront about your life? Respect a person and let them decide if it is something they are okay with. I'd be much more understanding and open to a man saying hey I'm not getting any at home, or I just want something different, then a man telling me what he thinks I want to hear to get into my panties. I'm not a saint, (don't laugh) I might be sweet, but I'm no saint, I've had affairs with married men before, I'll admit it. The difference is they have all been open honest upfront and set the boundaries of the relationship and no it was not always all about sex. In fact one man I saw for almost 2 years we never had sex, or even kissed, we would go to dinner and talk for hours on end. His wife and him had amazing sex, that's not what he needed he realized, it was someone to build his ego, let him talk and just banter with him. We are still friends but eventually he built up enough courage to tell her what he needed and they went to counseling and are HAPPY!! So yes the truth and honesty will go a lot further than manipulation and lies.

End of rant. *smiles* I've decided I'm going to start another blog, but this one will be all about my photography. I really do love taking photos and think I'm pretty darn good at it so I decided I want to share it with the world, the best way is to start a blog and that's what I'm going to do. I'll let you know the link and how it's going in the next few days, till then enjoy the day!

Who picks up the bill?

Recently I saw and episode of when I met your mother, or some sitcom like that. Anyhow one of the male characters was trying to decide between two women he was dating, one of the things he was determining over was who reached for the bill at dinner. Not if they paid, but that they reached for the bill. It got me thinking, what is the PC thing for a woman to do these days?

Matchmakers tell women to let men be men. That they pay, plan the date, etc. Till you're in a committed relationship. Pax Programs say to give men ideas, go to thier area of town so they feel more comfortable and let them be the men. Feminists say no men should come to you, you pay the bill, and you take charge. So it gets confusing for a woman in the dating world as to what to do.

Does it matter on who asked who? If its casual? Do you offer to pay 1/2, all, reach for the check and pray that he takes it from you? What? It really is a very akward situation to dating if you ask me.

And If I don't reach for the bill will that be the end of whatever might be building between us? What if I really don't have any money to pay for it, should I volunteer to do the dishes? *pulling hair out* UGH!!! Dating is so difficult sometimes!

Relish the joy ness

Sometimes you meet someone who truly is amazing and you realize in a second that all you have is that one moment with them.

This past weekend I was blessed with a wonderfully sweet and amazing few moments with a truly sweet and caring man. He showed me that there are men out there that think I am beautiful, sexy, vibrant and intelligent without wanting to get in my panties. It was a truly wonderful experience that I will hold in my heart and spirit.

Tomorrow’s Valentines Day and I yet again have no valentine. I thought I might be sad about it. But actually I’m celebrating my singleness. The girls and I are going to dinner and a movie. It’ll be fun and well none of that mushy lovey dovey stuff. Stuff that forces men to be outside of their comfort zones and perform as though they are a trained monkey. Don’t get me wrong I enjoy flowers delivered to me at work, but I want to know its what they want to do and not MADE to do it because there is a date on the calendar.

Movie oh I have no idea what number is down. I saw Hugo in 3D yesterday and it was cute, not extraordinary but cute. I don’t really understand or get how movies get nominated for best Oscar picture because they are all so different in categories, content and meanings. It would truly be hard. I have 3 more to watch and then I’ll be done with the OSCAR movies!!! Thank heavens the last 3 are on DVD.

Did I tell you that I have lost 25 lbs? I have since the 1st of the year. It’s not a TON I know this but it’s enough that I feel it already in my body and attitude. I also know that it’s affected my sex drive because I seem to want to have sex again all the time. GRRRR

My healing card today said to A cheerful expression brings joy to the heart, and good news gives health to the bones. This year I have worked toward positive ness more than ever and I think that is what has gotten me where I am today…realishing in joyfulness.

Irish Men, Movies and more!

So the Irish man and I are no longer. Short lived huh? He turned into a really mean evil person, not what I want in my life. It got really painful yesterday with his harassment on text. Mean things calling me substandard, a loser, etc. I got really depressed over it all last night. Slept and slept and slept. This morning I woke up and said it’s a new day and this jerk is not going to affect another day of my life. It’s been an AMAZING DAY!!

50/50 Challenge update.

Rented three movies over the weekend. The Debt which was a total bore in my opinion. Courageous which the ending to me was the best part and the testing of their vow. Then Friends with Benefits, that was HILARIOUS although predictable. So that’s 10,11 & 12 down. 38 more movies to go. And 49 more books. LOL

Movie number...9? Irish men, and Mercy!

Incredibly Loud Extremely Close one of the best pictures nominated for an Oscar and movie number….in the 50/50 challenge. I actually liked the movie quite a bit. I didn’t know what to expect from the previews and reviews I heard elsewhere, so I went into it with an open mind. And I was blown away; it was a great movie, awesome story line and the main character the young boy, played the part outstandingly. I didn’t cry but it did make me think and was a reminder of the tragedy of 9/11 and what it did to people, families, friends, it was a reminder to not forget or to take life for granted. It was a good movie.

I met an Irish man last night, he’s 39, no kids, divorced, his mum passed away a few months ago. He’s funny, intelligent, strong, and makes me smile. We have a lot of similar interests and goals in life. I’m swooning a bit over meeting him and where this is going. We have out first official date Friday so we will see. *smiles* oh and he has the sexiest Irish accent.

Life is good. I’m working out, balancing life, and realizing that I need to be more merciful towards others if I expect the same in return. It’s a hard one, but a vital one to a positive healthy life.

The root of all disease is negative attitude

Daily I choose (well it chooses me) a healing card. It’s just a card that makes you think about something in your life, then presents a questions to ponder. I thought this morning’s was fitting.

The root cause of all disease is negative attitude about taking care of yourself. How do you define “taking care of yourself?” Create a new self cared practice today. Observe your comfort level when it comes to being good to yourself. Discomfort is a wise teacher.

Yesterday I decided to change my mindset about working out. To just do it and something better will come of this path I choose a month ago. If I have a negative attitude towards exercising OF COURSE I’m not going to do it. But if I remind myself of my goal and the positive of working out and pushing that damn play button I’ll see the rewards while I enjoy the sun and water of the Great Barrier Reef in December! I can do this!

I’m really concerned about my friend Sana. She dropped out of the 90 day challenge, citing that she just feel it. I know those that live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones, but she wasn’t really doing anything. She refused to do exercise, even when I offered to walk around the lake with her. She complained about the shakes hurting her stomach, she complained that it was just too low of calories for her. I was LIKE DAMN girl I hope I don’t sound like that. I realized that she just doesn’t want it bad enough. She’s happy where she is at.

But now she’s complaining that the events she liked about GP aren’t being put on the calendar, the dining out and wine events. She complained that all that was on the calendar these days are Oscars movies that she has no desire to see and exercise events. I told her that I had combined the dining out and wine events to girls night out events. That yes my focus this year had changed. She also complained that she just wasn’t connecting with the new girls. WELL YOU have to talk to them and let your wall down!!! I realized I was being defensive about her comments, and that I shouldn’t. Just like the challenge I’m not responsible for her happiness or how much she participates or gets from the group. I truly believe that you have to SHOW UP and give it your all to get rewards from any friendship. It’s a give and take. I pray and send her positive thoughts because I really am concerned about her health and mindset, but its her life.

I sorta have been missing M a lot lately. There have been a few times that I have wanted to contact him, but I’ve reminded myself that I’d be chasing him, that I made a goal of no contact this year, and that if he missed me at all he’d have contacted me. Says a lot doesn’t it?

Create a positive mindset about yourself and your attitude and you’ll see the changes with those around you. They either accept and grow with you or they fall off the wayside. It’s a shame but sometimes it’s the healthier path when taking care of yourself.

OSCAR MOVIES!!! And Movies 7,8,9 down!

I have a goal to see all nine of the nominated movies for Best Picture. So I’ve scheduled them on GP, and have so far seen four of the nine. This past Thursday my GF E and I saw War Horse and The Artist. I enjoyed both of them but I think I enjoyed The Artist better.

War Horse was a sweet movie, story of this horse that is passed from person to person through out its life ending up back with it owner from childhood. It was an amazing story of the war between Germany and the UK. The power of love, dedication and respect between people and animals, it was also very harsh to watch as many horses in the movie died or were mistreated, story wise. It was a heartbreaking movie especially if you have a love of animals like I do.

The Artist is a silent movie, about silent movies, so be forewarned that it is totally silent. I thought it was fun, it was a long movie but it was a fun movie. It made you think about the way movies were back in the day. It was a light hearted movie about silent movies coming into talking movies. I can understand why it got nominated, truly a different type of movie that audiences are use to.

Sunday morning E and I hooked back up to see The Descendants. I must say so far this is my FAVORITE of the movies. It is the story of a family going through life and learning things about their loved mother, who is on her death bed due to a boating accident. It’s funny, heartwarming, touching and I must admit I had a few tears down my cheeks a few times. The beauty of Hawaii and the history/struggle of the family over all were great added bonuses to the story. I defiantly liked the movie and it touched me to my core. Reminding me that life is so short you never know when something might happen to you to take your life away.

So 4 down and six more to go. I’ll be seeing Extremely Close Incredibly Close tomorrow evening, then down to Hugo and the last few are on DVD. Only 41 more movies for the challenge!