Swirling thoughts

My mind is swirling tonight. I don't know why I am feeling down tonight. I should be in bed, its almost 11 on the daylight savings and I know I will be tired tomorrow but my mind is swirling.

Its swirling around The Past and him being home and the possibility of running into him again. The fact that he has moved on and his life seems to be so great and perfect. While mine although its full and I'm doing all the things that I deserve in my life I'm alone and being alone sorta sucks at times.

So my mind is swirling tonight, its swirling about M and wondering why I wasn't good enough for him to want to actually DATE me! He says he really likes me and wants to but the first weekend that he has without the girls and he's out on a bike ride. He doesn't even make plans with me, blames it on his friend at first and then a forgotten bike ride. *sighs* So I'm done with the games, I'm an adult and deserve better. Still it sucks being alone. But being alone is better then being with someone who doesn't want me. *sighs*

So my mind is swirling over yumminess, and how his daughter is doing. My mind is swirling over the fact that he was sick last week, my mind is swirling over how much I miss his friendship.

So my mind is swirling over money and work. its swirling over a possible need to get a second job. Its swirling over MT and what he is asking me to do. Its swirling over not exercising as much as I should be and its swirling over the fact that my mind is swirling...so its swirling. *sighs*