He's Back!

Isn’t the past suppose to stay IN THE PAST? *sighs* So Saturday evening I am out with my singles group having an AWESOME dinner and evening, when who gets seated in the booth across from us? YEP you guessed it The Past and his new wife. I guess I went completely white and couldn’t talk for a bit. I don’t really recall much of the rest of my dinner after that. But he smiled at me and than asked the waitress to seat them somewhere else. Why didn’t they just leave? *sighs*

So obviously a year of him in another country didn’t heal me, how is him being in the same city going to help things? I’m back to worrying that I’ll run into him everywhere I go that I want to just stay in the comfort of my house. Aren’t I supposed to be in some BIG love affair by now? Or at least a doting relationship? My mind keeps telling me that I’m a loser for not having someone to call my own, yet I don’t want to settle, I did that for four years with The Past I don’t want to do it again. I enjoy my life and all that it is offering, why do I feel the need to have a partner just because he’s back?

Every song my dang Pandora plays today is a song that reminds me of him. Am I going to have to go back to not listening to music, watching movies or enjoying life? This pain is suppose to have healed!!! So why does it feel like the bandaid was just ripped off?

So The Past is back, why couldn’t he have just stayed over seas, it would have been so much easier. *sighs*