Monday, May 19, 2014

back and forth

It’s one of those Monday’s were I just don’t want to do anything. My mind is in a million places and none of them are in the place they should be, work. *sighs*

It was a long weekend of Birthday celebrations, friends in from out of town, club night and drunkenness at brunch Sunday. I loved it!!! Some of my peoples met Her at brunch, everyone seems to really like her and are happy for me. It was so nice to have her there and to just laugh and share it with her. Than today happens. I sensed something was strange on her text and asked her about it, I knew she wasn’t feeling well but honestly didn’t think there was anything wrong with us.

She proceeds to tell me that she wants us to concentrate on the friendship part of our relationship more than anything else. This caught me off guard and totally turned me upside down. I thought we both were in the same place, I thought we were moving towards a committed relationship. She said that she felt it was too soon for some of the emotions I was expressing or voicing. I’m so confused I finally let my wall down, I finally was okay with things accepted my feelings and then BAM it feels like I was pushed into a lake and not even sure how to paddle.

So how do I react to this? My first reaction as always is to push away and lock myself down. But I don’t want to do that, I care too much for her.  So I sit here at work not really able to concentrate on anything as I think about her and how I go on from this.


Is it really too soon? Can’t you know right away if someone is the one?

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