I can’t even wrap my head around how different a few days
can make. Friday life was great, Her
surprised me at work with medicine and a slurpee. Sunday was amazing to share
my birthday brunch with Her and my friends, then bam! Monday I sense the
difference, something has changed, and yes I was right.
Her and I are over, she wanted to step back and focus more
on the friendship side of things to make sure that we were right for each
other. I totally understand that theory and the thought process, but the big
thing is as friends you can’t have the expectations that you've put on me. You
can’t expect me to say good night or good morning, put lipstick on for you,
hold your hand, or even kiss you. I don’t do that with my friends. I don’t’
talk about sex the way we do, I don’t make plans for dates in the future, I don’t
serve my friends, I don’t make them dinner, I don’t bring them dinner (okay
that’s not true I do, do that). It’s just the implications of everything, the
making promises and plans and then breaking them.
Feeling foolish for trusting her so quickly, feeling silly caring
for her. So glad I never gave her access to my blog or to read you. To think
that is what I was going to give her this weekend. *sighs* and to think how
excited I was about going away for my birthday with Her.
I can’t even think straight to write a dang blog about the
pain, the disappointment, the process of knowing that I had hope that this was
the one.
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