silly woman

I seriously am one of the silliest women I possibly have ever in my life met. And I mean I’ve met myself a time or two. Why is it so fricken hard to let go of someone that you know you would be settling for and that they have told you over and over that they can’t give you want it is that you need or wanting? Why?

I’ve told myself over and over let M go. Just walk away, just let him go. He’s not the one for you, he doesn’t want you, and he’s just not there. But something still pulls me back every time I’m horny or lonely, it’s not like the sex is the most amazing I have ever had but it is safe and comforting. It’s like coming home after a long vacation.

So knowing this why is it that I seem to do this pull push pull push thing with him? Is it the fact that he says he wants to let me in, is it that he says he’s working on confiding in me, that he SAYS. He SAYS a lot! But he NEVER does anything about it.

Here I am sitting at my desk at work crying my eyes out and wondering when my life is going to turn around. After not being on my medicine for a week I finally was able to get it refilled today but I am still very dizzy and light headed. On top of that the antibiotics that the Doctors gave me are making my tummy really upset.

Pull it together S and think about work. Yeah that’s it think about work and happier things. I think maybe its time to go back to a meeting. Maybe if I start singing hi ho hi ho its off to work I go I'll feel better. *smiles*