Wanna be sneeky? You'll always be caught.

I started to write this blog before leaving town for Grams Funeral and now it just seems so foregin and so long ago, but I will continue with where I left off.

11/10/11
So many thoughts and things have gone in my life the past few days not even sure where to begin.


I've been using the tools I learned in the workshop to communicate with the men in my life and its really amazing the responses back. My dad and I are leaving for Washington for Grandma's funeral. The communication between us on email and my appreciation for him being able to provide for me financially and emotionally to be able to go, has been amazing and strange in a sense. It really is a totally different way of thinking and talking to men. Its amazing and wonderful and uplifting.


I've been trying to use the tools with women also, thanking them for what they provide and give me in my life. Today after finding out something that A,K&K did behind my back, I used it to write very caring and honest emails to them and removing them from the GP group. I feel bad a little bit about my part in it, at the same time my thought is ya wanna be sneeky, manipulative and mean about things, you're going to get caught and you may not like the outcome.

11/15/11
So many things have occured since starting this post 5 days ago and so many things just don't seem important anymore. A emailed me wanting her money back for the theater tickets. While I was out of town I received a long email from C telling me how awful I am and that she has decided to leave GP. All of it hurt a bit but I have realized a few things from this experience I"M NOT FOR EVERYONE!!!, that I can only do what I feel is right from within and that life is to short to hold onto all this negativity around me. Will I miss the friendships of them sure? But to what degree were we really friends? They didn't know me and by judging and leaving without attempting to be honest about thier feelings or talking it out is that a true friend? So I wish them well and take what I will from the situation and move on. Life is to short for this all.

Grandma's gone, and although she's been sick for so long its still STRANGE to know that she's gone. To know that she's not a phone call away to call up and empty my basket asking for advice. To know that she's not going to greet us with a smile, a card game or cookies, just makes me tear up and wish I could turn back time just for one more moment with her.

It was wonderful to be with family and to celebrate her life, but it was bittersweet, knowing this is probbably the last family event that we will all be together for. My family is such an ecentric group of people that make up who I am, and I wouldn't change that for the world. The trials and tribulations that I have gone through in my life have made me who I am today and if those that have choosen to judge me or leave my life because they have failed to understand or know what has occured in my life to mold me to who I am today, then they really aren't people I need in my life.

Sneekiness gets you no where, you'll always get caught. Those that live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, unless you want your windows broken.