As I find myself exploring the BDSM realm again at this stage in my life I'm asked by a Domme to define what submission is to me and what it is that I am looking for. Although I failed her assignment as I didn't follow directions to to T, I did realize through writing the below assignment what I desire and ultimately want from a relationship.
What submission is to me- by s
The Dictionary defines submission as “The act of submitting to the power of another”. The
yahoo Voice website states there are three different types of submission in the BDSM lifestyle,
Submissive, Slave & Pet. I have always found their definitions the most understandable to me.
As a submissive you submit to your Master, you give up control for long periods of time.
However you have your opinions and your choices and you can still make them. A submissive
usually seeks their control through sexual play.
As a slave your control is given up COMPLETELY. Slaves live the lifestyle 24/7; there is no
distinction between a normal day and a BDSM day. Their Dominate controls every aspect of
their life. Being a slave is not something one is made to do but a choice that they have made
and are a slave from the day they ask for it.
As a pet you are a salve with one large difference, sex usually is not involved. You gain your
pleasure from the control of the relationship and not from the sexual play. This type of submission is
warned to be dangerous as you rarely have any thoughts, feelings, or reactions of your own.
As I researched the different types of submission years ago, I quickly came to realize that I was a
submissive through and through. The idea of giving of myself to someone whom had more sexual
experience than myself, who knew new things that I couldn’t even imagine being enjoyable. Having my
mind controlled and excited beyond anything I could imagine. Trusting this person and giving of the
ultimate gift, the gift of my body through submission, this brought the little slut girl inside me to the
surface with excitement.
Of course over the years I have dabbled with a few men in being the Dominate, although the control and
having a tongue on demand was nice. It’s not the same for me and I have known that inside I really am a
submissive.
As we mature, grow, learn and seek out our life’s path we fine tune things. I’ve recently realized that
what I would ultimately desire is a mix between a submissive slut and Taken in Hand relationship. A
Taken in Hand Relationship is defined by the Taken in Hand website as “a sexually-exclusive marriage
in which the husband wears the trousers and is firmly in charge- he always puts his wife and their
relationship first. Putting her & the relationship first if the key to creating a marriage in which the main
is in control in a good, healthy, sustainable way. Taken in Hand wives (women) tend to not claim to
be submissive but they do respect, honor and appreciate their husbands and strive to please them”
My dream relationship would be a mixture of a Taken in Hand and submissive, although I want a
relationship that they man is in charge (I always think back to the 50’s) I’d also like the sexually open
aspect of a swinging relationship.
So understanding my ultimate dream of a relationship, I continue to look inside to see what would get
me along the path to finding and satisfying the little slut girl inside me. I realized that submission to me
is the control in the bedroom, being treated like a dirty slut, the mind control, the being used to please
my partner, gagging on a cock, being asked if I like that as a huge cock is being shoved down my throat,
being spanked over a knee for misbehaving, pleasing Daddy (or mommy). To me it means acceptance,
someone who knows my deepest fantasies would never judge me or say I am wrong for having those
feelings. Having someone who would get excited in wanting to see my boundaries, fantasies, and
mind expanded beyond where I am now. Someone who would take pride in rewarding me for an
accomplishment, having someone cheering me on, as if I’m swimming the 400 IM at the Olympics, to
see the smile on my Dom/me’s face knowing they are happy with me brings contentment to my soul.
The thought of being able to FINALLY give up complete control to someone being able to trust them
so that the little slut girl inside could not have to worry about how to get release sexually, mentally or
emotionally.
I’m not sure how I prefer to express myself as a submissive to other, I suppose my greatest thing is to
have my body used and pleased by them. To bring satisfaction to them, with accomplishing whatever
is asked of me. I try my hardest to accomplish tasks in a timely matter, and not displease my Dom/me,
sometimes life does interfere and I have to take my punishment for that when it occurs. Understanding
that through punishment I will grow and learn to be better.
I would like to learn to be able to trust completely, to be able to know that my Dom/me has my best
interest at heart. I would like to be able to release myself completely not having to think and just do as
my Dom/me tells me to do. I’d like to be able to release the little slut girl inside and know that she will
be greeted with love and acceptance.
To me an ultimate D/s relationship would be one where there is mutual respect, unconditional love,
& understanding. That neither one of the two in the relationship look at the others with disrespect, or
be judged for their passions, fantasies, desires, or thoughts. Where both sides are one in a two person
relationship. That both seek to pleasure the other through sexual, mental, and emotional fulfillment. To
me this is the truest and healthiest form of a D/S relationship.
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