Rambling Thoughts

Not really sure what the topic will be today, so many things running through my head.  Mainly how I can’t wait to see A tonight and just lay naked next to him breathing hard. J Yes I’m talking about sex, and all the things that come with that. SEX SEX SEX. Since meeting A its been a strange rollercoaster of feelings he has come into a place in my life that I knew was empty but didn’t know how empty it was.  He makes me smile and my CGB panicking at times. UGH!!!

I cut off all ties with Puppy this past week. I just can’t handle it anymore she is making in my opinion really bad decisions and in order for me to heal and move on from the relationship I needed to cut all ties. It was hard and even harder when I didn’t see A for a few days and I felt so disconnected from him, but that’s been rectified. I think about her everyday wondering how she is and what’s going on but at the same time I will say that its really nice to not have to worry about her and the stress around her.

At Family dinner on Sunday L&J both said how they are happy that its over as she is an energy sucker. I need to trust not only my gut but also those around me that I love’s gut. Poppa said the same thing about puppy and I tried to dismiss it but he was right.  So hoping that in the future I can listen and not get myself stuff in something that will just be determinately to my well-being.

Dinner was really nice. I love my chosen family so much and would much rather spend time with them than anyone else.  Well except for when I get to spend time with A. J

I realized this weekend that after about 3 days of not seeing him, or two days of no real communication from him I start to feel disconnected and I start to get into my head. I can’t stand that.  So I need to be able to tell him that I can’t do that, I think he is getting it.

I’m suppose to be meeting a guy for tea tomorrow night after work and I’m actually sort of looking excited about it.  Not sure why, maybe I am wanting A to  feel a little bit nervous about losing me? But he’s not. So we will see