Silly Girl don’t you learn?

Sometimes I wonder why I am so forgiving of people. Its not that I’m desperate in the least, trust me I date enough! I’m just picky about who I actually want to kiss. Plus 2011 isn’t about a romantic relationship. And as far as friends I have TONS and it seems that I still give a few more chances than I should. Not anymore!

So silly me has give M another chance since the whole phone debacle. Mostly because I fired Iz and realized that a lot of the DRAMA in my life had been her doing. So nice to clear out the old and just live your own life.

So I found out that since firing Iz that she contacted M on Facebook and they have been having this full on online relationship, conversation, or what not. When I confronted Iz’s BF/Fiancé he said he would take care of it. Somehow I am clearly doubting all this as MS I found out has known about it the entire time, I'm now seriously contemplating his involvement in the entire situation. For now I have told Iz and MS that I want no contact with either of them. I highly doubt that is going to happen. *sighs*

What really sucks about the entire thing is that I really like M. He’s the first guy since The Past that I allowed myself to be vulnerable with. He’s the first guy since The Past that I have felt something in his kiss over.

Yes I know you’re going to say what about Yumminess? Yumminess doesn’t count, he’ll always be there, and yes we know that there is that total connection but we also know that Yumminess and I are only ever destined to be friends. So yes M is the first since The Past that I have actually allowed myself to think there could be a relationship there. I actually allowed myself to break my rule for 2011 and allow myself to think about a romantic relationship, *Sighs* Silly girl.

The reality of the situation is that M is really not all that into me. If I think about it I’m the one that has been chasing him, texting, asking him out etc. I haven’t seen him since that one date what three weeks ago, and I really don’t think I will again. I really don’t think he’s all that into me. *sighs* but it’s really okay. Okay I just keep telling myself that…oh and to SMILE!!!

So long story short I called Iz this morning told her that my friendship with her and MS was over in no uncertain terms. I told her that I was done with M and to enjoy her life. *claps hands* So it’s done and over with.

The only really sucky thing about the entire situation is that next week is Valentines Day. The other side of it is do I really want to be with someone who really isn’t into me so for the sake of that stupid stupid day? or for that matter in general? nope! I want someone TOTALLY into ME!!! A man who understands what’s important to me in a relationship, one who tells me what’s important to him, the one who makes me feel secure, wanted and sexy. Someone romantic, sweet & giving. I’m willing to be patient and wait for it. So I will go about my Valentines as I had previously planned, attend the Singles event with my group and SMILE SMILE SMILE!!!

On a HUGE positive note, the competition is going well. I’ve lost 3 more lbs. Training is going a bit slower than I had hoped, but I just started the couch to 5K challenge so I am excited about that and have an appointment with Road Runner to get fitted for correct shoes.

My girlie group is going strong and the women that are in it are so amazing that I have to pinch myself sometimes to see if I am really real. Yesterday being a really CRAPY day they all rallied around and were there for me. I’m so grateful to them.

The new singles/dating group I started is also going AWESOME!!! We had our first event the other night and 9 people showed up. Tonight is Taco Tuesday, so who knows *smiles* I might meet someone new and all this past few weeks will truly be swept under the rug!

So I learn and the times I don’t I’m not beating myself up, it’s like running or learning to run, ya take it minute by minute and enjoy the scenery!