Oh such is life. You wonder why a person has rules or
boundaries in their life. It’s to protect their heart and soul. The mind can
process the rejection, the turned shoulder, the realization that it isn’t what your
heart thought it might be. So why do I always make exceptions for the rules
that I know protect my heart?
Oh yes because inside I realize people are good, and that
they need a friend, someone to cheer them on and show them the positive of
life.
So I bent the rules for HS. Even though I knew that he wasn’t
divorced and still living in the same house as his wife. I bent them sensing
that he needed a friend and someone to shower him with care, affirmation, and
encouragement and today I get told that
he needs the space that I knew he would need. So as much as I tried to avoid
getting involved or attached at all, what did I do? I got attached!
He’s a great man. Funny, intelligent, handsome, and caring,
and baggage! He’s depressed, stressed and needs some space…AKA cant’ deal with
me at the moment. So rejection comes in a nice form, but it’s still rejection. I understand where he’s at and know that he
really needs a friend who will just be positive, supportive, and caring without
expectations.
Does it suck? Yeah! It was nice to have someone charmed and
enchanted with me, showered me with attention and really seemed interested in
me. Alas I know better, I know to not allow myself to get involved in attached
men! Ugh brain can you let the heart and soul know this and stop it in the
future from happening.
I know why I tear them down, bend, allow the exceptions in,
because when you build the walls so high it keeps the hurt out but eliminates
allow the joy in also! Without joy life doesn’t matter.
So I will continue to live my life with an open heart, mind,
& soul. Loving, giving, and protecting those that are put in my life, for
the joy does out weigh the hurt eventually.
No comments:
Post a Comment