If its that easy to walk away were they ever really a friend?

How does one express how much they miss someone without stepping over the boundaries of the person that they miss?

I feel myself out of sorts, missing friends, and not knowing what to do about it all. Feeling left out is a TERRIBLE feeling, A really TERRIBLE feeling.

I don’t know how to explain the feeling of being left out since the Vegas trip, the feeling of tension, of missing my friend K, of thinking I was close to A but every time we were around other people being treated coldly. I don’t know why I thought theater season tickets would be a good thing to do, because now I have to sit next to them and feel awkward and unwanted. I don’t like this feeling, I don’t like feeling left out. I don’t like feeling abandoned.

But how do I live with myself and how am I to be the person and friend I see myself as to people if I’m not honest about how I am feeling. I wish those that I care about and was at one time so close to could understand that and instead of just cutting ties. If a person can walk so easily out of your life where they ever really a friend?