When you really matter

M and I have been texting again *smacking head against wall* I don't know why I do that. He doesn't want me, he doesn't even want to be friends so why do I allow him to do things that I don't allow any other man in my life to do EVER? *sighs* Maybe its that I have that desire to just be held by him, but even that won't happen so why do I continue to allow it?


I saw the below quote today and it made me think a lot about M. Made me also realize that I deserve someone that feels that I really matter. M's not that one. *frowns* I'm a bit sad about it but I also understand, okay I'm just saying I understand. Work has been crazy lately. So busy and stressful that sometimes I don't know which was is up. I feel like my head is floating half the time. We're bidding like crazy and coming in 2nd or 3rd. We'll get there, and hopefully SOON, because our one sup that doesn't have a job at the moment is starting to get on my nerves being in the office every time I turn around. Ugh

I'm still feeling a little out of sorts with the GP group, but I am getting back to feeling okay and normal with everything that has happened, and happening. I'm letting it go and letting god deal, but its still weighing on my mind at times, and its painful to have to process and work through my actions in the situation. Is this what working the program and healing really means?

When you really matter to someone they will make the time for you, and I am hoping not just walk out of your life without trying to rectify the situation.