Your first weekend home and it was rough. We fought Friday
night, to the point that we had broken up; Saturday we talked and worked stuff
out but something was still off. Something isn’t sitting right with me and I
can’t seem to put my finger on it. I want to believe you that you haven’t done
anything but something still doesn’t sit right.
So here we are Sunday night, I’m home and for some reason
worrying that the other shoe is going to drop and tomorrow you will be missing
again. I don’t know how I can handle anything else going on or the fear that
something new is going to happen. I called you more drama than a pregnant woman
during PMS today out of love, but also that you have been a lot of drama since
we have met. I hope that the drama is behind us and that we can move forward
with healing, health and positivity.
We went to brunch
today with S, then a walk down to the local beach. It was nice, not to cold,
got my feet in the sand and water. A deep wave came up on us and soaked us up
to my thighs, I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time. You just smiled and laughed,
as your boots were soaked. I can’t help but smile remembering that. It was nice
to get the energy from the beach; waves and sand to help us ground ourselves
back to our centers.
I’m hoping that tonight you will sleep better and that sageing
of the apt and jeep will help release what ever is attached to you and causing
the turmoil. We will get through this, we just have to believe in each other
and not try and complicate things.
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