Act normal

I thought about just continuing to text your phone good morning, good night pretend you’re just busy and not able to respond back, than my brain reminds me that I am living in a nightmare right now. Three days its been, still unaccounted for and still no word anywhere. Where are you? You have an apartment and all your things. I just don’t know how you could leave it all.

How do I act normal? How do I live each day not knowing where you are? Not knowing if you are safe? Not knowing if I will ever see you again.....acting normal is the hardest act I am having to do right now. 

I’m starting to understand that you’re not of your right mind, I get that, and you need help.  You mom is a lovely lady; we had a nice talk last night, she gave me some insight into you and what happens when you get to this mindset. I wish I had known all this ahead of time I could have helped more. But I can only help as much as you allow me too and the past two weeks you’ve pushed me away. I didn’t want to see that but looking back I now realize it.

I’m getting physically sick. Woke up this morning with a sore throat and stuffy head. Took some zicam and got some tea/honey, but I feel like crap. I don’t know how much more I can take between getting sick, work and the stress of you being gone.

Just a text, a word, a note, something to say you’re okay. I keep thinking I’ll wake up and come out to go to work and your jeep will be there or one of those times I go by your place you’ll be there.  I can hope can’t I?

I made a missing poster and posted it on FB today. It’s being passed around to the different military groups and friends. I don’t know what it will do but it makes me feel better.

Right now all I can do is take care of myself, do what makes me feel better and act normal. As if that is just all.